How did I get here?

"Write a blog," the faint voice echoed.

I sat in our garden patio space, gazing at the cloud formations shifting their shapes; trailing across the sky.

I don't know anything about blogging.

Who would want to read my stuff anyway?

I don't have the time.

What would I even write about?

I ran out of excuses.

Why am I starting this blog?

In short, I felt like God wanted me to.

There have been many of you who have been persistent in encouraging me to begin some sort of writing endeavor. Thank you. I'll probably write about Jesus, what I'm learning in scripture, through life, through ministry, and probably write some coffee reviews.

Today, my cup of joe was the Bandlands Blend from Cottonwood Coffee. It's a dark roast with full body flavor and low acid, which is a must for me! Cottonwood is a roastery in Brooking, South Dakota that ships right to your door. Additionally, a portion of their profits are donated to support conservation efforts. Drink coffee and help the environment. Win, win. If you visit their site: https://cottonwoodcoffee.com/ they provide a free quiz to help you find the perfect blend for you, including a discount for your purchase! Check them out.

I've spent the last ten years doing ministry work with youth in one capacity or another. Most recently, my husband and I have been leading bible studies and providing spiritual care at the local juvenile detention center. Perhaps the most common theme in young people today is the disbelief in their value. They struggle to understand their importance in this world. They often believe the lies that they don't matter, they are not 'enough' in some way, and that they do not carry any significant purpose for existing. I would wager that this is not exclusive to youth, but I do believe it is heightened in the generation that has been reared by the internet. The world's solution to this epidemic is via the encouragement of self-love.

Modern psychology would summarize that a healthy relationship with yourself is a balance of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-care. What psychology fails to understand spiritually, is that you cannot have a relationship with a dead man.

There exists a slippery slope in our culture today around this topic of self. While there is plenty of scripture to testify to the fact that God does love us, it is not because we are good and deserve to be loved (Romans 3:12&23), but rather that God is good and He IS love (Luke 18:19 & 1 John 4:8)! Us being loved by God has absolutely nothing to do with us, and everything to do with Him. In fact, we are only able to love ourselves or others because He loved us first (1 John 4:19).

Therefore, telling these kids that the solution to their emptiness is to simply love themselves is not going to work.

When Adam and Eve sinned against God their punishment was death, but it was not just a physical death, it was spiritual death for all of us.

For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive. - 1 Corinthians 15:22

We are dead men and women walking until we receive the life that Christ offered on our behalf.

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. - Romans 6:4-11

Until we surrender to Jesus and participate in His death and resurrection, we are never truly alive. It is impossible to have a real relationship with ourselves until we have become fully alive in Christ! Without this, we are attempting to love, accept and care for a spiritually dead, slave to sin who is detached and isolated from God who IS love. Is it truly head-scratching then, why so many struggle to see their purpose?

One misconception about self-love is that we view the word 'love' so incorrectly. Ephesians 5:29 says, "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it..." For the majority of us, we love ourselves enough to feed ourselves daily, to bathe and dress, or to tend our wounds when we are injured. Love in any relationship (with self or others) is a decision to care far more than it is an emotionally favorable feeling. Jesus showed us exactly what our worth and value were at the cross. The biblically healthy relationship that the believer alive in Christ is meant to have with themselves is one that lives in the revelation that they are worth every drop of divine blood freely given. This knowledge does not puff us up to love ourselves more, but rather it inspires us to love Him the most!